the self-love handbook

Something has recently come to my attention that I want to address here on my blog.

I realized that many of my posts are all about body positivity and loving how you look.

While these things are definitely important, and vital to self-love, I want to make it clear that self-love goes deeper than how you look.

You should also love your mind.

This is where I've been getting it wrong. I've been focusing too heavily on outward appearance, and not placing enough emphasis on how absolutely undoubtedly unequivocally important it is to love your insides, too.

Your mind, your personality, your sense of humor, your compassion, your confidence, your attitude, your outlook, your opinions, your sense of self, your work ethic, your kindess: all of these things are more important than how you look. And each of us need to make a conscious effort to recognize and love these things about ourselves.

Self-love is more than skin-deep. Self-love is about loving every inch of your body and then some. It's about loving who you are, inside and out.

You are more than pretty. You are smart. You are brave. You are inspiring.

I love how opinionated I am. I love that exude confidence. I love how I'm not afraid to speak my mind. I love how much I am capable of loving others. I love my sense of humor.

I love myself for more than how I look. I love my mind.

Dear readers, I am very sorry for neglecting to emphasis this thus far. Please know that this is very important to me.

This week, I challenge you all to think of three things you love about yourself that have nothing to do with your outward appearance.

Furthermore, try to integrate this inward angle of self-love into your journey and mindset.

Happy inner beauty-ing!

BB

Something has recently come to my attention that I want to address here on my blog. I realized that many of my posts are all about body po...

Who knew a toiletry company could be so inspiring?

Many of us use Dove products, or have used them in the past. They make lotion, body wash, deodorant, and hair care products, among others.

But Dove has started a campaign that goes beyond toiletries. And - you guessed it - it's all about self-love!

The Dove Self-Esteem Project aims to tackle the issue of lacking body confidence in women and girls. Their mission statement can be read here: http://selfesteem.dove.us/Articles/Written/Our_Mission_in_Practice.aspx


They offer resources for parents, teachers, and youth leaders/mentors to help them connect with the young women in their lives and help them gain more body confidence in themselves.

Dove's movement is all about female empowerment, body positivity, and self-love. Three of my favorite things!

I absolutely love how Dove has chosen to popularize this campaign and make it their mission to help thousands of girls. They used their platform as a well-known company in an inspiring and valuable way. To further their reach, they also engage in social media campaigns, using hashtags to encourage women to speak positively about themselves.

This just goes to show how one company made self-love an integral part of their public appearance. (As a PR major, I see the value in this!)

Dove, I applaud you.

BB

Who knew a toiletry company could be so inspiring? Many of us use Dove products, or have used them in the past. They make lotion, body was...

Hello, self-lovers!

Today, I'm going to be discussing self-love for my male readers. 

I realize that my blog tends to be very women-oriented. This is due to a couple of factors. Firstly, I am a woman. Secondly, women tend to struggle more with self-confidence and body positivity as opposed to men. Combined, these two things result in a very female-centric self-love handbook.

But, my dear gentlemen, I have not forgotten you. I encourage you to love yourselves, too!

"Self-love" may sound off-putting to a lot of men, simply because it seems like a very feminine term. Sigh. Hyper-masculinity always seems to get in my way.

Men's preconceived notions about self-love are also due in large part to the way they are typically raised. Throughout childhood and young adulthood, boys are often taught not to show emotion. They are raised to value steely toughness and strength over vulnerability and emotions. 

And self-love definitely involves being vulnerable.

Despite these male biases, the truth is that self-love is not restricted to any gender. Men, women, nonbinary people, and every other gender in between should feel free to embrace the idea of loving themselves. Self-love excludes no one! You just have to let it in. 

Loving themselves is something I believe all men would benefit from. Loving yourself is cool. Loving yourself is tough. It's the hating yourself that's weak. 

I found a really great article online (written by a man! different perspective anyone?) that talks more about men and self-love. It's a great read, linked here: https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/j1b-ballers-of-the-heart-the-importance-of-male-self-love/

(I realize it is highly unlikely that I have many male readers. Ladies, feel free to pass this along to the men in your life!) 

BB

Hello, self-lovers! Today, I'm going to be discussing self-love for my male readers.  I realize that my blog tends to be very women-...

Documentaries. Oh, how I love them.

Photo courtesy of: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Representation#/media/File:Miss_Representation_(2011).jpg

This week, I encourage you all to check out a documentary called "Miss Representation". For those of you who have a Netflix account, it can be found there. It can also be streamed on YouTube for a small fee, as well as other websites. {Trailer embedded}

"Miss Representation" is all about how women are portrayed in the mainstream media, and the impact this can have on our society. It touches on how stereotypical images of women can affect the self-esteem of those whose outward appearances don't match up with what's considered "typical" or "desirable".

The documentary is very well done, and incredibly interesting to watch. The subject matter is important to me because I find that many women, particularly young girls, allow the media's standards of beauty to drastically lower their self-esteems. Body image can be severely damaged by these standards, resulting in more body negativity and self-hatred among women.

These standards are toxic. There should be no standard of physical beauty, because truly, every person is beautiful in their own way. This is what self-love is all about.

At the end of the day, these standards do more harm than good when it comes to loving yourself. That's why I love "Miss Representation". It's eye-opening, feminist as can be, and hard-hitting.

Watch the documentary. Realize what the media is doing to you. Kick those standards to the curb. Embrace your beauty.

Love yourself.

BB

Documentaries. Oh, how I love them. Photo courtesy of:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Representation#/media/File:Miss_Representation...

Science.

Science is admittedly not my favorite subject. However, self-love is! So when the two combine, I'll give it a shot.

You read the title correctly: there is science behind self-love. Real, actual, brain-and-physiological-science-and-whatnot.

In fact, there's even a whole book about it!

"I Heart Me: The Science of Self-Love" by David R. Hamilton Ph.D., linked here: https://www.amazon.com/I-Heart-Me-Science-Self-Love/dp/1781801843

I've purchased and read the book myself, and it's great. The science is easy to understand and broken down into mentally manageable parts.

The book describes the three stages of self-love, which are as follows:
1. "I am not enough."
2. "I've had enough."
3. "I am enough!"

Good stuff. Of course, the goal here at the self-love handbook™ is to reach stage three, but there is absolutely no shame in being at one of the first two levels. (Unless, of course, you're not actively trying to reach stage three. In that case, shame on you!)

I realize that not all of you may want to spend the $16.99 on the book itself, which is totally understandable. Luckily, Dr. Hamilton has been kind enough to share some of his wisdom about the three stages of self-love online for free. Yay!

Linked here is the article: http://www.healyourlife.com/the-3-stages-of-self-love

I encourage you to take a look at what he has to say and apply it to your own self-love journey.

Happy reading!

BB

Science. Science is admittedly not my favorite subject. However, self-love is! So when the two combine, I'll give it a shot. You rea...

What's holding you back?

At some point in nearly everyone's self-love journey, people feel that they tend to hit a snag. Something is holding them back.

This is often a haunting past experience, a negative relationship with another person, a deep-rooted misconception about themselves, or an inability to forgive themselves, among other things.

Whatever this "snag" may be, I want you to think long and hard about yours is. And let it go.

Let it go. Think of it as a balloon, a tangible object, and release it into the air. Feel the weight being lifted off of your shoulders. (As cheesy as this may sound, it works!)

Forgive yourself. Choose yourself. Love yourself.

Let it go.

Whatever your snag may be, it's holding you back. You deserve better. You deserve the fulfillment of complete and total self-acceptance.

Let it go.

It's up to you and only you to free yourself from whatever is holding you down.

Let. It. Go.

I'm rooting for you.

BB

What's holding you back? At some point in nearly everyone's self-love journey, people feel that they tend to hit a snag. Something...

My dear readers! I sincerely hope you are all doing well and thoroughly loving yourselves.

My dear readers! I sincerely hope you are all doing well and thoroughly loving yourselves. I write to you today to share a tip of mine. ...